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blonde joke for y'all #6547 01/17/12 09:37 PM
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stevieohlarik Offline OP
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A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.

The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back and, frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!" roflmao

Re: blonde joke for y'all [Re: stevieohlarik] #6548 01/17/12 09:39 PM
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A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary items together, she made for the nearest frozen lake.

After positioning her footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "There are no fish under the ice!"

Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice and began to cut yet another hole. Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice!"

The blonde, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, sat up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more, "There are no fish under the ice!"

She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "Is that you, Lord?"

The voice replied, "No, manager of this ice rink!"

Re: blonde joke for y'all [Re: stevieohlarik] #6569 01/18/12 11:38 AM
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ProMo Offline
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A Blond went to order a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
Six please' she said. I could never eat twelve. trout

Last edited by ProMo; 01/18/12 11:39 AM.
Re: blonde joke for y'all [Re: stevieohlarik] #6607 01/18/12 11:44 PM
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stevieohlarik Offline OP
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HAHAHA!!!!

Re: blonde joke for y'all [Re: stevieohlarik] #6610 01/19/12 10:56 AM
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How do you know a blond has robbed your house?
You notice the Micowave is gone but she left a note saying thanks for the TV.

Re: blonde joke for y'all [Re: stevieohlarik] #6611 01/19/12 11:58 AM
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Very good. Send some more.

Re: blonde joke for y'all [Re: stevieohlarik] #6613 01/19/12 12:46 PM
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Why was the Blonde staring at the Orange Juice Carton?

Because it said concentrate.

Re: blonde joke for y'all [Re: stevieohlarik] #6616 01/19/12 08:06 PM
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How do you drown a blonde?

Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool

Re: blonde joke for y'all [Re: stevieohlarik] #6633 01/20/12 12:34 PM
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What do you call a Brunette walking between two Blondes ??


















Interpreter !!!!!

Re: blonde joke for y'all [Re: papamark] #6634 01/20/12 02:09 PM
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A Blonde asked soemone WHAT time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied;
You know it's the weirdest thing, i have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer. wall

Re: blonde joke for y'all [Re: stevieohlarik] #6635 01/20/12 02:27 PM
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Two fish swim into a concrete wall, the one fish turns to the other and says Dam! wall

Last edited by ProMo; 01/20/12 02:27 PM.
Re: blonde joke for y'all [Re: stevieohlarik] #6636 01/20/12 06:19 PM
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How do you get a one arm Blonde out of a tree?
Wave to her.

Re: blonde joke for y'all [Re: stevieohlarik] #6637 01/20/12 06:25 PM
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stevieohlarik Offline OP
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Blonde Logic...

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!

What a year!!

Re: blonde joke for y'all [Re: stevieohlarik] #6638 01/20/12 06:32 PM
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Bill and Frank rent a boat and go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to the shore. Bill says to the Frank, "I hope you marked the spot where we caught all those fish." Frank replies, "Yes, I marked an 'X' on the side of the boat to mark the spot." Bill says to Frank sharply, "You idiot. How do you know we'll get the same boat?"

Re: blonde joke for y'all [Re: stevieohlarik] #6691 01/23/12 06:05 PM
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roflmao up

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