Two blondes were going to Disneyland. They were driving on the interstate when they saw the sign that said 'Disneyland LEFT', They started crying and turned around and went home.
Car trouble
A Blond pushed her BMW into a gas station. She tells the Mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just [censored] in the carburetor'
She ask, 'How often do i do that?'

A Blond's Dogs
A girl was visiting her blond friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" HELLLOOOOO.....," answered the blond. They're Watch dogs!!!
River Walk
There's this blond out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another Blond on the opposite bank, 'Yoo-Hoo?' She shouts. How do i get to the other side?'
The second Blond looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side'
At the Doctor's office
A gorgeous redhead goes into the doctor's offce and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible' says the doctor...show me.
The redhead took her finger, pushed it on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even louder. She pushed her knee and screamed, likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?'
Well, 'no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde'
I thought so, 'The Doctor said, 'Your finger is broken'